D Day!!!

July 21, 2009

My 21st bday… I woke up unhappy. There are a few things I’d regret that I didn’t do. The chances that I should have taken, but I wouldn’t be where I am right now if it wasn’t for some tough decisions I made. I’m a grown up now. Old memories came rushing back to me last night; I was looking at my old baby pictures. I remember how it was happy to be a child back then, the innocent princess… I started to miss my family again, mostly my papa. Wishing if he was only alive, id surely be in a different place right now and id surely be happily celebrating my bday with my family back in Cebu, but everything’s so different than it was 9 years ago.

My bday's almost over, and the only person that really matters for me to greet me right now, even with a simple sms is my mother, but she did not even manage to do so for whatever reason, maybe because she is still mad at me... or DID SHE FORGET THAT I WAS EVEN ALIVE?

After all I’ve been through, I’m so thankful for what I have right now. I’m totally blessed by God and so is my family. Problems have been coming from time to time but then I still have the courage and strength to conquer it. I’m getting older each and everyday, a lot of time has been wasted. Right now, i just want to succeed in every career I’m going to take. I want to love myself first before anyone else, and I wish to still be strong in the next years to come… Happy Birthday to me!!!

A Choice...

Two men

Both dear to me

And I have to choose between them

Choose between something that may never be
again

Or something that will last a long
time

It may not sound like much of a
choice

But there's the matter of my
heart...

And with whom it lies

For the Rogue stole my heart long
ago

While the Seraph held himself aloof

But the angel came when the Rogue left me
broken

And now the angel has fallen for me

And the Rogue is back

I know not where the Rogue's heart
is

For most of his life is hidden from
me

Only revealed in painful fragments

While the Seraph shares everything

Nothing is hidden with him

I know the Rogue is trying And he's slowly
gaining back my trust

I just wish I knew what was going on in his
mind

He is my best friend

I trust him with anything I say, to look out
for me

But I don't know if I can trust him with my
heart again

Or if he even wants it

Even though it aches for him in moments of
solitude

His goofy smile, sense of humor, his golden
brown eyes

The way he can read me like no one else
can

And yet too much I am reminded of what has
occurred

The Seraph has my total trust, for he has
always been honest

Always made me smile when I thought I
couldn't

It is so easy to be myself with him

When we are together he never lets me
go

He has been my angel more than he
knows

Soothing my aching heart and making me
forget

Telling me that I am beautiful, wonderful and
amazing

I love him

And yet

My heart is not with him

It could be with time

I know he's willing to wait

And will always be there for me

And so I am torn between two men I
love....

The Seraph and the
Rogue