Sunday, November 29, 2009

i can't believe you're here with me now
i never thought i needed someone like you
but you are like my own personal brand of heroine
and i could just not last a day without you!
im so happy to have you in my life!
im not letting this one go!
i love you so much!!!

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

D Day!!!

July 21, 2009

My 21st bday… I woke up unhappy. There are a few things I’d regret that I didn’t do. The chances that I should have taken, but I wouldn’t be where I am right now if it wasn’t for some tough decisions I made. I’m a grown up now. Old memories came rushing back to me last night; I was looking at my old baby pictures. I remember how it was happy to be a child back then, the innocent princess… I started to miss my family again, mostly my papa. Wishing if he was only alive, id surely be in a different place right now and id surely be happily celebrating my bday with my family back in Cebu, but everything’s so different than it was 9 years ago.
My bday's almost over, and the only person that really matters for me to greet me right now, even with a simple sms is my mother, but she did not even manage to do so for whatever reason, maybe because she is still mad at me... or DID SHE FORGET THAT I WAS EVEN ALIVE?

After all I’ve been through, I’m so thankful for what I have right now. I’m totally blessed by God and so is my family. Problems have been coming from time to time but then I still have the courage and strength to conquer it. I’m getting older each and everyday, a lot of time has been wasted. Right now, i just want to succeed in every career I’m going to take. I want to love myself first before anyone else, and I wish to still be strong in the next years to come… Happy Birthday to me!!!

Thursday, July 16, 2009

A Choice...

Two men

Both dear to me

And I have to choose between them

Choose between something that may never be

Or something that will last a long

It may not sound like much of a

But there's the matter of my

And with whom it lies

For the Rogue stole my heart long

While the Seraph held himself aloof

But the angel came when the Rogue left me

And now the angel has fallen for me

And the Rogue is back

I know not where the Rogue's heart

For most of his life is hidden from

Only revealed in painful fragments

While the Seraph shares everything

Nothing is hidden with him

I know the Rogue is trying And he's slowly
gaining back my trust

I just wish I knew what was going on in his

He is my best friend

I trust him with anything I say, to look out
for me

But I don't know if I can trust him with my
heart again

Or if he even wants it

Even though it aches for him in moments of

His goofy smile, sense of humor, his golden
brown eyes

The way he can read me like no one else

And yet too much I am reminded of what has

The Seraph has my total trust, for he has
always been honest

Always made me smile when I thought I

It is so easy to be myself with him

When we are together he never lets me

He has been my angel more than he

Soothing my aching heart and making me

Telling me that I am beautiful, wonderful and

I love him

And yet

My heart is not with him

It could be with time

I know he's willing to wait

And will always be there for me

And so I am torn between two men I

The Seraph and the

Monday, May 25, 2009

8 Toxi Personalities you should avoid

Although we like to think that the people in our lives are well-adjusted, happy, healthy minded individuals, we sometimes realize that it just isn't so. Personally, I've had moments where I'll be skipping through my day, happy as can be, thinking life is grand and BAM, I'll be blindsided by someone who manages to knock the happy wind out of my sails. Sometimes it is easy to write it off and other times, not so much.
Maybe you are a positive person, but when you are around a certain individual, you feel negative. Or, maybe you have an idealistic view of the world and when you are with certain people, you are made to feel silly, unrealistic or delusional. Or, maybe you pride yourself in being completely independent and in control of your life, but when you are around a certain family member, you regress into a state of childhood.
Some of these situations, and yes, these people, can have a tremendously negative impact on our lives. And, although we are all human and have our 'issues,' some 'issues' are quite frankly, toxic. They are toxic to our happiness. They are toxic to our mental outlook. They are toxic to our self-esteem. And they are toxic to our lives. They can suck the life out of us and even
shorten our lifespan.
Here are the worst of the toxic personalities out there and how to spot them:
Manipulative Mary: These individuals are experts at manipulation tactics. Is a matter of fact, you may not even realize you have been manipulated until it is too late. These individuals figure out what your 'buttons' are, and push them to get what they want.
Why they are toxic: These people have a way of eating away at your belief system and self-esteem. They find ways to make you do things that you don't necessarily want to do and before you know it, you lose your sense of identity, your personal priorities and your ability to see the reality of the situation. The world all of a sudden becomes centered around their needs and their priorities.
2. Narcissistic Nancy: These people have an extreme sense of self-importance and believe that the world revolves around them. They are often not as sly as the Manipulative Marys of the world, but instead, tend to be a bit overt about getting their needs met. You often want to say to them "It isn't always about you."
Why they are toxic: They are solely focused on their needs, leaving your needs in the dust. You are left disappointed and unfulfilled. Further, they zap your energy by getting you to focus so much on them, that you have nothing left for yourself.
3. Debbie Downers: These people can't appreciate the positive in life. If you tell them that it is a beautiful day, they will tell you about the impending dreary forecast. If you tell them you aced a mid-term, they'll tell you about how difficult the final is going to be.
Why they are toxic: They take the joy out of everything. Your rosy outlook on life continues to get squashed with negativity. Before you know it, their negativity consumes you and you start looking at things with gray colored glasses yourself.
4. Judgmental Jims: When you see things as cute and quirky, they see things as strange and unattractive. If you find people's unique perspectives refreshing, they find them 'wrong'. If you like someone's eclectic taste, they find it 'disturbing' or 'bad'.
Why they are toxic: Judgmental people are much like Debbie Downers. In a world where freedom rings, judgment is sooo over. If the world was a homogeneous place, life would be pretty boring. Spending a lot of time with these types can inadvertently convert you into a judgmental person as well.
5. Dream Killing Keiths: Every time you have an idea, these people tell you why you can't do it. As you achieve, they try to pull you down. As you dream, they are the first to tell you it is impossible.
Why they are toxic: These people are stuck in what is instead of what could be. Further, these individuals eat away at your self-esteem and your belief in yourself. Progress and change can only occur from doing new things and innovating, dreaming the impossible and reaching for the stars.
6. Insincere Illissas: You never quite feel that these people are being sincere. You tell a funny story, they give you a polite laugh. You feel depressed and sad and they give you a 'there, there' type response. You tell them you are excited about something and you get a very ho-hum response.
Why they are toxic: People who aren't sincere or genuine build relationships on superficial criteria. This breeds shallow, meaningless relationships. When you are really in need of a friend, they won't be there. When you really need constructive criticism, they would rather tell you that you are great the way you are. When you need support, they would rather see you fail or make a fool of yourself.
Disrespectful Dannys: These people will say or do things at the most inappropriate times and in the most inappropriate ways. In essence, they are more subtle, grown up bullies. Maybe this person is a friend who you confided in and uses your secret against you. Maybe it is a family member who puts their busy-body nose into your affairs when it is none of their business. Or maybe, it is a colleague who says demeaning things to you.
Why they are toxic: These people have no sense of boundaries and don't respect your feelings or, for that matter, your privacy. These people will cause you to feel frustrated and disrespected.
8. Never Enough Nellies: You can never give enough to these people to make them happy. They take you for granted and have unrealistic expectations of you. They find ways to continually fault you and never take responsibility for anything themselves.
Why they are toxic: You will spend so much time trying to please them, that you will end up losing yourself in the process. They will require all of your time and energy, leaving you worn out and your own needs sacrificed.
All of these personalities have several things in common. 1) the more these people get away with their behavior, the more they will continue. 2) Unfortunately, most of these people don't see that what they do is wrong and as a result, talking to them about it will fall on deaf ears, leaving you wondering if you are the crazy one. 3) Most of these people get worse with age, making their impact on you stronger with time.

by Brett Blumenthal - Sheer Balance, on Wed May 13, 2009 8:01am PDT

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Versace Bright Crystal

...For days i have been looking for the perfume that would fit me, as a lady. People have been providing me wiht there suggestions, but i did not like any of it. Until i dropped by over this perfume botique in a mall, and saw this one little pink bottle that caught my attention. Then there i met my Versace Bright Crystal, not only is tha packaging beautiful but the smell itself. It has a unique scent, very classy & elegant. Best for sophisticated women. Best for Me of course! i was captivated by every little bit of it, expect for the price. Expensive but worth it!

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

some lessons i should have learned before i had my heart broken :(

Oprah wrote this about men...

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.
Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be.Slower is better.
Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.
If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends".A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend. Don't settle.
If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.Don't stay because you think "it will get better."You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
The only person you can control in a relationship is you.Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women.He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently?
Always have your own set of friends separate from his.Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.
If something bothers you, speak up.Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.
You cannot change a man's behavior.Change comes from within.
Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he has more education or in a better job.Do not make him into a quasi-god.
He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
Never let a man define who you are.
Never borrow someone else's man.If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.
All men are NOT dogs.You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two way street.
You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about baggage...
Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.
You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...
a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals...
look for someone complimentary...
not supplementary.
Dating is fun...
even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.
Make him miss you sometimes...
when a man always know where you are, and you're always readily available to him
- he takes it for granted.
Never move into his mother's house.
Never co-sign for a man.
Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need.
Keep him in your radar but get to know others.

reality hurts...

Friday, February 6, 2009

Dans La Memorie of a Great Man...

If I could get another chance

Another walk, another dance with him

Id play a song that would never, ever end

How Id love, love, love to dance with my father again

today, marks the 8th year of my father's death.

today, was the day He tooked you away from us.

8 years has passed, but i am still left grieving...

i am left missing you... and i am left wishing you are still here.

i regret not being able to tell you how i am proud of having a father like you...

i regret not being ablet to let you feel how much i love you... :(

you have inspired a lot of lives, have helped a lot of people whether or not they are your relative, and have shown us your goodness in all ways.

i know you are with Him right now, and that you are looking upon us...

Indeed you are a great man, and will always be remembered!

i miss you so much Papa... ;(

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

make me whole

Darling I want you to listen

I stayed up all night, so I could get this thing right

And I don't think there's anything missing

Cause a person like you, made it easy to do

I've waited for so long, to sing to you this song

Cause your eyes are the windows to heaven

Your smile could heal a million souls

Your love completes my existence

You're the other half that makes me whole

You're the only other half that makes me whole

I think the angels are your brothers

They told you about me, said you're just what she needs

And I find myself thanking your mother

For giving birth to a saint

My spirit flies when I say your name

If there's one thing that's true

It's that I was born to love you

Cause your eyes are the windows to heaven

Your smile could heal a million souls

Your love completes my existence

You're the other half that makes me whole

You're the only other half that makes me whole

You make my dreams

Come true over and, over again

And I honestly truly believe

You and me are written in the stars

I live my whole life through

To giving thanks to you

Cause your eyes are the windows to heaven

Your smile could heal a million souls

Your love completes my existence

You're the other half that makes me whole

You're the only other half that makes me whole

by: Amel Larrieux

>im so hooked with this song... i love it!

and i wish to sing this to someone who is worth for my love, and will take care & love me in return...